100 Days In: 2.3 Million Casualties
By: Joy Marie Mann
Last November, I had a conversation on X “Spaces” with a young man in Gaza named Khalil. He spoke for around 20 minutes and during that time, there were five audible explosions. It was, of course, sobering to hear in real time; however, hearing the bombs was not the worst part. The most heart-wrenching moments were immediately after the explosions with Khalil’s lack of reaction. His statements, “Another one is coming” and “See? There it is” shortly after. He showed no anger. No sadness. No fear. Was it numbness? Acceptance? I was sobbing too hard to ask him.
Khalil shared that he is 27 years old, and he has dreams of going to college and being successful. He stated that is how he wants to be remembered. I thought to myself, “Oh fuck, he could literally die tonight!” I thought, “They could make him just another tally mark mere minutes from now.”
My years of supporting Palestine, doing constant research, providing consistent coverage on my show, my interviews, my activism—nothing could have prepared me for those 20 minutes.
During the conversation, someone told Khalil to “Stay safe”and Khalil finally showed some anger for the first time. Not by yelling or name-calling, but in frustration. Rightfully so. Unfortunately, it was a very “American” thing for the person to say to him.
I was asked to speak and trepidatiously unmuted myself. i mean, what the hell do you say in this situation? Is there a specific etiquette.? A playbook I was unaware of? I shared the words which came to me organically in that moment: “I am so sorry. I am sorry for my government. I am sorry they will not listen to those who they are supposed to represent. We have blood on our hands.” I then shared my love and said I had to go. A few minutes later, I received a direct message from Khalil, which read “Thank you for these honest emotions.”
I became physically ill as I replayed the conversation in my head. I vomited and shook with fury. I had the mother of all panic attacks and didn’t sleep for 2 nights. The third night consisted of all-too-real nightmares. I obsessively checked Khalil’s social media to be sure he was still alive. But what power did I have either way?
This brings me to the title of this article: In reference to Palestine, millions of us have used the word “genocide” for months, or perhaps, even years. But I see it solely being used in its literal sense, which people have become desensitized to. The massacre taking place in Palestine is far beyond technicalities. We should, of course, use it in its literal sense when necessary, but the reality is that a genocide has already been committed.
There are 2.3 million casualties. 2 million Palestinians have been “displaced,” which is a flowery way of saying “Their homes and entire neighborhoods were blown to bits.” Gaza is being deprived of food, water, electricity and medical supplies. There are 50,000 pregnant women in Gaza malnourished, covered in dirt, and without medical visits. The mass majority of Palestinians have lost family members at the hands of the IDF. People in Gaza are walking on rubble in their bare feet. They have no clean clothes. Babies are having their arms amputated without anesthesia. There are no blankets to lay on because they are all being used to wrap around the bodies of those killed.
So I ask, even if Israel stopped its terrorism today, how is this not already a genocide? They are murdering mothers and children lessening the ability to procreate. There will be deaths from infections, malnourishment, dehydration, the elements, and other reasons which may not be immediate.
Even those who survive: Will they truly be living? Or just simply existing? Where will they live? Go to school? Go to worship?
Whether literal or not, Israel has created 2.3 million casualties. We need to recognize that.
*Note: At the time of writing this article, Khalil’s post reads: “Day 100. I am still alive.”